THE never-ending pursuit to rename the Liberal Party has become a pet cause for politicians who refuse to accept they’ve joined the wrong Party.
Rather than admit their mistake, defect to Labor and start over, there’s a growing list of political activists who have attempted to re-make the Liberal Party in their own image.
So, who are these political wolves dressed in conservative clothing? And what are some of the wacky names they’ve bestowed on the Party of RG Menzies.
HIMSELF
Before his removal, Liberal Party Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull re-branded the Party after himself.
The 2016 general election was fought under “The Turnbull Coalition” banner, which caused no end of grief among campaign volunteers.
But both the new name and Turnbull’s campaign effort proved a disaster. It resulted in the loss of former PM Tony Abbott’s thumping 89 to Labor’s 55 seat majority.
This majority had once been described as a three-term buffer. “Turnbull’s Coalition”, however, squandered it all, holding government by just one seat and placing the Party on life-support.
After Turnbull’s sacking in 2018, it slowly dawned on his former factional colleagues that they needed a new name. “The Turnbull Coalition” brand, it turned out, had been extraordinarily short-sighted.
MODERN FAMILY
So Turnbull’s former factional mates in NSW again rebranded the Liberal Party in their own image.
This time they would contest the 2019 general election as “Modern Liberals”.
And again their re-branding effort would prove mediocre at the ballot box. The renamed Party just scraped into government – this time with a majority of only two.
It didn’t help much that the “Modern Liberal” moniker was a complete misnomer. And that everyone in Australia, except for them, knew it.
ANCIENT
A quick Google search throws up the names and photos of these inappropriately named “Modern Liberal” politicians.
Without exception, they all appear to be aligned with the NSW Moderates. This faction is anything but modern and questionably Liberal.
It’s the faction that supported legalising late term abortion, of going soft on bestiality laws and of blocking the promised religious freedoms that were supposed to follow homosexual marriage.
CANDLES
A passing glance at their position on energy policy fails to indicate much “modernity”, either.
The “Modern Liberals” are aligned with The Greens on most energy and environmental issues, which is pre-industrial at best. Their focus tends to be wind mills, candles and the #howdareyou! hash tag.
With 2022 election planning underway, it’s well past time for these meddling “moderns” to find another, more descriptive name.
“Labor without Union Funding” is a starting point and it’s infinitely more honest.
But there are many, many other names that would be equally suitable, though way less politically correct.PC
The “Liberal” party is clearly in a state of moderate-induced moribundity, and their terminal decline cannot be arrested or even slowed. This sad fact is exemplified by the elevation to the leadership of Scott Morrison, a man who looks like a wind vane in a tornado when he has to take a position or make a decision.
As with nature, politics abhors a vacuum, and so the natural result will be the rise of a new conservative political party in Australia, although this will of course take time. In the interim, the only responsible strategy is to vote informally in the lower house (in order to delegitimise the government formed by whichever party prevails), and to vote for a minor conservative party in the senate.
Too right (or is it Left) re Malcolm!