Something’s in the water. That is the best explanation we have so far for the escalation of bizarre behaviour happening at the fringes of Australian politics.

It is tempting to include the Prime Minister in this discussion, after his ‘delulu with no solulu’ infantile attempt to appeal to ‘young people’.

If your first response to reading that sentence was, ‘The f-?’ allow me to help.

Anthony Albanese went on a podcast earlier in the week where he was dared to use the word ‘delulu’ in a sentence.

‘Delulu’ being the new word for ‘delusional’.

Apparently, it was bred in the abyss of TikTok with the trending phrase, ‘delulu is the solulu’ meaning that self-delusion is the way to achieve your dreams, even if those dreams are, you guessed it, delusional.

(Don’t worry, I feel old too.)

‘Budget week next week … listen up,’ said the Prime Minister, indicating he would take the podcaster up on their dare. And he did exactly that. ‘Well, Mr Speaker… They are delulu with no solulu.’ Which left the Prime Minister looking as if he had some kind of minor stroke.

Not to be outdone by this barely comprehensible mess, former Green and now Independent Senator Lidia Thorpe riffed off the Prime Minister with, ‘The solulu is to tear down the colulu [black fist].’

Which translates to, ‘The solution is to tear down the colony [Marxist fist].’

Charming.

At least it was more polite than the Senator’s other X posts which include, ‘Stop. The. F-. Genocide.’ Although it was moderately amusing to watch the Labor Party squirm as she said, ‘The rejection of the bill speaks to the colonial and genocidal interests of this government…’

Surprisingly, Thorpe’s destructive separatist outburst wasn’t the craziest thing to happen this week.

Greens Senator Sarah Hanson-Young was asked to remove her giant dead salmon from the Chamber after she brought the headless fish in as a prop while shouting, ‘Extinction salmon! Extinction salmon!!!’

At least she was on-brand for the Old Greens idea of environmentalism instead of their recent eco-fascism.

The Greens are a worry because they have real (and increasing) power over the direction of politics.

Where once they could be written off as people who liked to chain themselves to bulldozers, hug a few koalas, and sip soy lattes, today their political ideas pose an existential threat to the survival of Australia on a tumultuous regional map.

Which is why I draw your attention to the comments made by the Leader of the Greens, Adam Bandt, who has chosen to label Australia’s most powerful and important global ally a ‘danger to democracy’.

‘The Prime Minister should not be inviting Trump to Australia. Trump is a danger to peace and a danger to democracy. He emboldens hate and hard-right ideology. We should be re-thinking our relationship with Trump’s US, not sucking up to him.’

Spend a few minutes imagining what would happen to Australia if we shunned America…

The fantasy geopolitical world inhabited by the Greens is never challenged by their peers in Parliament and so their lunacy spreads, escaping Canberra to infect the inner-city suburbs.

Our national security is too important to allow the Greens to continue peddling the false narrative that Australia doesn’t need America while China does laps around our island. Chinese communism is expansionist. It is also a colonising force, which should upset the Greens but for some reason they ignore the ethnic groups that have been overrun and enslaved by Beijing.

This is not a one-off moment of madness from the Greens. Senator David Shoebridge shared the news that the Greens want Australia to leave Aukus and end its US weapons programs.

‘Another defence saving: The operation of joint defence facilities (such as Pine Gap) makes Australia complicit in the United States’ offensive military strategies and operations. So let’s shut them.’

Yes… Let’s shut one of the most important defence facilities in the Southern Hemisphere. There won’t be any consequences for making ourselves an undefended target beneath the world’s most aggressive superpower.

‘If we want to end Aukus, de-escalate tensions in the region, and not join the next US war, we need a credible plan B that protects Australia but does not threaten our neighbours,’ added Mr Shoebridge.

It really depends on who your neighbours are…

The Greens website adds:

‘Why on Earth, in the middle of a cost of living crisis, as the climate crisis gets worse, is the Albanese government choosing to dump billions more into nuclear submarines we will never get? It is all part of this dangerous escalation in the region. Australia is rapidly militarising and becoming an arm of the US military. This isn’t keeping anyone safe.’

This sort of angry-delusional-communist-university rhetoric might appeal to young delulu voters living in city areas where the streets are adorned with rainbow flags, but in the real world communism is a ruthless, violent, oppressive political ideology that raises armies and parades them across borders.

Why aren’t the Greens telling China to de-escalate tensions in the region? Why don’t they criticise the communist government for pouring concrete over dozens of coral atolls where they kill the marine life to make way for warships, missile bases, and army barracks? Why don’t we hear anything about the destruction of sacred mountains under the banner of ‘Net Zero’ and the vanishing of local activists who complain about their religion being erased by Chinese officials?

The Greens are the supreme hypocrites of geopolitics, and right now they have far too much influence over policy. They want to build a ‘climate army’ to respond to natural disasters while their program of demilitarisation would mean there is nothing of Australia left to defend.

All you can say about the Greens is that they present their reckless idiocy in a coherent fashion.

The same cannot be said of Senator Jacqui Lambie, who had an infamous onscreen calamity while discussing Pine Gap and American tariffs.

Ms Lambie suggested kicking the Americans out of Pine Gap in retaliation for Trump’s tariffs on aluminium and steel, I kid you not.

‘When it comes to Pine Gap, and even though in the rule book it says that we have to give them 12 months notice if we were going to remove their communications, why would we do that? … I think we need to put our foot down here. So these are the measures that you can take which will not hurt our own trade. Okay? There’s no good doing a trade war with the US, we’re not big enough. These are the measures that we can make, and we can make them today to show that we mean business. These are the measures that we should have put on the table to start with.’

It is astonishing that Ms Lambie understands we are not big enough to engage in a trade war with the US but does not understand that having the world’s most powerful military force at Pine Gap keeps Australia safe in the Pacific.

Talk about burning down the house to kill a single ant.

Even the host of the show seemed to think Ms Lambie had unhooked herself from the grid, following up with a question about unintended consequences of losing both Aukus and American troops from Darwin.

‘I think after paying the US nearly a billion dollar cheque that we handed them over six weeks ago, we can no longer trust our US allies … quite frankly, we don’t owe the US anything. It’s time our leaders stood up and showed some courage. The Australian people are calling out for it. They want some sort of retaliation against the United States. They want some sort of retaliation against Trump.’

No, the Australian people are not calling out to lose our vital defence pacts with America and if Trump were to run in the Federal Election, he’d probably win.

Destroying Pine Gap over trade is insane.

The lack of basic military knowledge within the political class is horrifying. These might be the lowest quality leaders in human history.

And it barely reached the headlines.

Flat White is written by Alexandra Marshall. If you would like to support her work, shout her a coffee over at donor-box.