Technically, the Liberal wing of the Coalition is larger but lately the Nationals have been stronger.
This is unlikely to be David Littleproud’s doing, given his weakness on critical ideological issues and sogginess around the edges of his conservative compass.
If not a ‘wet’, let us say he is ‘damp’. Or as the Editor-in-Chief of this publication likes to remind his Friday and Sunday viewers, the Nationals Leader has little to be proud of.
As nicknames go, it is not as catchy as my calling of John Pesutto Prosciutto or that time I wrote an article describing Matthew Guy’s shambles of a leadership as lobster bisque (if you know, you know), but certainly there isn’t much that comes to mind when Littleproud is mentioned.
Ask the average Australian who is leading the Nationals and they’ll probably say, ‘Barnaby Joyce’.
Some politicians have personalities that endure regardless of their position or title. They are leaders, even when they are not. Joyce does not merely overshadow Littleproud, he eclipses him. When the two stand in a room together, the press naturally leans toward Joyce, certain that his words will drive headlines while Littleproud’s speeches require a few eCars lashed together to drag them along.
Even when drunk and splayed out on a footpath, speaking to his wife on the phone, the public thought Mr Joyce’s predicament was endearing rather than damaging.
This is not a reaction that can be finessed by a media advisor.
In my opinion, it is the presence of Barnaby Joyce that allowed the Nationals to hang onto their seats in regional areas. People know Mr Joyce, they trust him, they understand him, and they have confidence in how he will vote when Labor’s bills start lapping at the door of Parliament.
It is no surprise the Nationals are making noise about wanting a larger role in the Coalition. They earned it. Besides, the talent pool is so shallow that picking Liberals for the front bench is like dredging the mudflats at low tide after the shop-bought bait runs out.
One of those low-quality critters is the re-elected Liberal Andrew Bragg who has said exactly the wrong thing.
‘We must offer an ambitious agenda and a centrist, inclusive social vision. Reclaiming enterprise and the centre is not a departure from our values – it is a return to them. The country is drifting and we remain Australia’s best chance for course correction and renewal.’
You are already an endangered species, Mr Bragg. Go on, move a bit closer to the Left. See what extinction feels like.
Despite the little victory lap for the Nationals, we discovered that Barnaby Joyce has been keeping his prostate cancer diagnosis quiet so as not to disrupt the election.
He underwent surgery yesterday and we wish him all the best for his recovery.
‘Prostate cancer, if you get it early, is very, very treatable; in fact, about 97 per cent successful … I’ll have the operation on Monday and I will then have a couple of days in hospital and will recuperate after that … if I thought it was very serious, of course I’d resign, but my doctors or surgeons say, “You’re very lucky you’ve got it early.”’
Mr Joyce (who was re-elected to New England with a swing in his favour) campaigned for the federal election as normal, although media have been complaining in the aftermath of the Coalition wipe-out that the best talent, including Mr Joyce, had been kept out of the spotlight. It is another one of a hundred mindless decisions based on poor advice.
Of the election result, Mr Joyce said: ‘We lost, didn’t we? And you can’t spin it any other way. If you do and try to sort of embellish it and gild the lily, then you are not fixing the problems that you had.’
The Nationals would be stronger if Mr Joyce returned to the leadership and, quite frankly, the Liberals desperately need him standing in frame at press conferences.
Sounding a little conspiratorial, Mr Joyce said he would leave any questions of leadership ‘up to the party room’, adding, ‘I think we need to have an honest conversation.’
What would happen if we allowed the Nationals to lead the Coalition for a while?
The Liberals have become smug, elitist, unrelatable, arrogant, bland, directionless, and left-leaning. It would do them good for their better half to lead while they regroup and seek out fresh talent.
If, as some of the remaining moderates have threatened, they wish to drag the party toward the left, the Nationals should ditch them entirely and seek out a new alliance with centre-right minor parties.
Unfortunately, the Liberals have never recovered emotionally from the loss of rich city seats to the Teals. It is sending them half-mad.
Too many Liberal politicians desire prestige and enjoy the trappings of parties, exclusive clubs, and dinner in the homes of the rich and famous. Their sneering attitude was felt by the public who are being made increasingly poor by Liberal policies.
As for the Teals, their wealth is flowing from the declining middle class into the pockets of their voters. For now, anyway. The Teals haven’t realised it yet, but they are the useful idiots of the Labor Party and Greens who view them as tax cows with full udders. Their expiry date was May 3 and soon we’ll see Adam Bandt’s ‘eat the rich’ taxes devour the Teal suburbs.
The Liberals created the Teals with all their climate change crap. The moderates are solely to blame for the Liberal crown jewels being ransacked. If they are ever to be won back, it will be in a messy economic war in which the virtue of green politics is long forgotten.
It will be one of many wars and if the Coalition want to see power again, they might consider allowing the Nationals to lead.
Flat White is written by Alexandra Marshall. If you would like to support her work, shout her a coffee over at donor-box.
