Some find happiness through love, some through religion, others through their work or hobbies. But Energy Secretary Ed Miliband has recently revealed that he would be happy living next to a pylon. Following Ken Livingstone’s interest in newts and Jeremy Corbyn’s obsession with manhole covers, it seems prominent Labour politicians are constantly surprising us with their interests. But for Miliband there is just one snag. Near his home in Camden Borough, London, there are – no doubt to Ed’s dismay – remarkably few electricity pylons to keep him happy.
Miliband – that one-time public mauler of breakfast baps – is, it seems, in a minority with this peculiar passion. In a recent poll published by the Times, 80 per cent of respondents said they rather doubted they would be happy living next to such a monstrosity. In fact, an extensive pylon-building scheme devised under the Tories – and now pushed hard by Labour – is raising hackles across the country. People are demanding that, instead of covering their locale with miniaturised versions of the Eiffel Tower, they lay the electricity lines underground. But Miliband, who recently announced £22 billion in funding for largely untested ‘green technology,’ has been told by his adviser Chris Stark that this would be too expensive.
It seems that Ed’s happiness to live next to a pylon does come with some risks attached
Others have pointed out the numerous health risks associated with living near electricity pylons. The government’s website has played down these hazards. There is, it will allow, ‘some uncertainty regarding certain health effects’ and there are ‘a number of studies showing a possible link between… living close to high voltage power lines and a small excess of childhood leukaemia’. But, it quickly reassures us, the evidence ‘is not strong enough’ to draw a clear causal link.
But the National Grid nevertheless recommends living no closer than 50 metres to a high-voltage power line. Meanwhile, in a first-person piece for the Telegraph last year entitled ‘I lived under a pylon and it was hell’, one lady spoke of the constant ‘buzzing and humming sounds’ and of the terrible headaches houseguests suffered. It seems, then, that Ed’s happiness to live next to a pylon does come with some risks attached after all.
If Miliband’s passion for pylons continues, he’ll find numerous resources and fellow enthusiasts online. There is a website called ‘Pylon of the Month’ and a Pylon Appreciation Society, where upon joining he would get a ‘welcome pack with photo card, a “parts of the pylon” print, badge, and mini cards’. ‘It’s funny how many people accuse me of being mad or geeky,’ writes the Society’s Founder – Miliband, surely, would have something to contribute here.
Meanwhile, a report by the company EMF (Electro-Magnetic Field) Inspections tells us to look on the bright side. Houses near pylons tend to be substantially cheaper, as ‘many people are put off by the visual impact and noise pollution of pylons, which means there is less demand for properties in these areas.’ This is a financial saving Miliband (officially a pensioner in 12 years’ time) might bear in mind if he chooses to sell his Dartmouth Park home and set out on his quest.
If Miliband is right – that real, lasting contentment is to be found living adjacent to a vast, potentially carcinogenic, energy-bearing steel tower – then at the age of 54 he’d better get on with it. Of course, finding the happiest pylon in Britain to live near might take Ed away from his vital climate work in Westminster. But then, there must be other ways in life of bringing home the bacon.
