‘Backstabbing’ is the leading cause of early demise amongst the Labor leadership.

If Prime Minister Anthony Albanese finds himself feeling around his blazer for a blade, we might assume Jim Chalmers is somewhere nearby.

Treasurers are the usual suspects in political deaths – they are the jilted wives of the true crime genre seeking to inherit the leadership.

Unfortunately for Mr Chalmers, he is lacking in diversity tick-boxes and might have some competition, if rumours are to be believed, from Albanese’s factional friends.

Those headlines have discussed the leadership ambitions of Environment Minister Tanya Plibersek.

She was dragged in front of the cameras to dismiss leadership speculation after an earlier fumble where Ms Plibersek was asked if she would become the Opposition Leader in the event of a Labor loss.

It is customary to show failed leaders the door and there is nothing spectacular about Albanese to make him worth salvaging. If anything, he is one of Labor’s weakest offerings and whoever is directing his election campaign isn’t doing him any favours. Lately, he has come off like the star of an online shopping network, brandishing his Medicare card as if it were part of a two-for-one offer.

If Labor loses, which is becoming increasingly unlikely, someone else is going to be the leader. Will that ‘someone’ be Ms Plibersek? And is she running a ‘shadow campaign’ as described by the press…

Speaking to the ABC about the election campaign with Albanese, she said: ‘I’m feeling very anxious when you say that sentence. I’m working very hard for the re-election of an Albanese Labor government, and I feel good.’ She then waffled about Dutton’s nuclear policy and a few other boring election talking points before conceding, ‘I’m not going to speculate about that for a moment,’ in relation to leadership talk.

When asked on Sky News Australia, ‘Having been around politics for quite some time, how many people say to you that they wish you were the Prime Minister?’

After a few moments of basking, Ms Plibersek replied, ‘You know, people love what Anthony’s doing at the moment. He’s up in Cairns with our candidate for Leichhardt, Matt Smith-’

‘Why aren’t you there? You are the Environment Minister. Shouldn’t you be there?’

‘Well… I have been in Cairns three times lately with Matt Smith. I launched his campaign recently … and the Prime Minister is there making a fantastic announcement that will make it easier for kids to see Nemo on the reef.’

And that was it. As usual, it is not the answer that is of interest, but that Ms Plibersek fronted for the question in the first place.

As Sky News Australia wrote: ‘Ms Plibersek previously told media that if she had contested the 2019 Labor leadership ballot she would have emerged victorious over Mr Albanese.’

Of course, she didn’t and her assumption of victory cannot be tested.

The articles at the time discussed her inability to reconcile the Labor leadership with family responsibilities. That may not be the case this time.

I had a chat to Double Shot creator Terry Barnes, who indicated that if pressed between the two unpalatable choices of Chalmers and Plibersek, the latter was probably more suitable and more qualified.

That said, Mr ‘kinder capitalism’ Chalmers is from the more moderate side of the pitch (even though the entire Left flank is woefully unhinged) so it is possible Australia would be better off with the Treasurer.

My opinion is that Labor ministers have the quality control of Temu. Do you want them running the country? Not really. But just like Temu, millions of people keep giving Labor a go, even when the country is broken and broke.

Flat White is written by Alexandra Marshall. If you would like to support her work, shout her a coffee over at donor-box.