Chicago
You get freedom, you get freedom, we all get freedom! At least that was the pitch from Oprah Winfrey who gave a surprise speech at the Democratic National Convention. The celebrity talk-show host and businesswoman received the most raucous applause of Wednesday night’s festivities and ignited the crowd like none other of the evening. But it’s still unclear exactly what “freedom” the Democrats are talking about besides the ability to terminate your pregnancy up until birth.
Yet even Oprah couldn’t make us forget the enduring awkwardness of Joe Biden being forced out of his reelection campaign. Who could help but raise their eyebrows when President Bill Clinton claimed that Biden had “voluntarily” relinquished power? He’s the second coming of George Washington, don’t ya know! Still, that might be better than former speaker Nancy Pelosi, who pretended the president she shoved off the bridge never existed at all.
It’s not just Biden that the Democrats forgot. His administration and its legacy is being papered over too. Much like the first two nights, there were few specifics on policy besides abortion on demand and fear-mongering about Project 2025 and the end of democracy. Oh, and January 6. Trump was mentioned more than the current president who, up until a few weeks ago, we were told was the most consequential executive in modern American history.
The big event of the night was the official introduction of Minnesota governor Tim Walz, who has had a… difficult… rollout, to put it lightly. He has been accused of stolen valor, lying about his wife’s fertility treatments, having his campaign give false statements about his DUI arrest and stretching the truth on his record of reopening schools during the pandemic, among other tall tales.
There was a thick level of irony when Speaker Pelosi reminded us that Walz “fought for our American heroes as the Democratic leader of the VA committee,” considering he did not fight alongside the heroes he abandoned to run for Congress before they deployed to Afghanistan. Governor Wes Moore also referenced Walz’s service, explaining that he would know that, in the military, you count the number of days until a mission is complete. Or the number of days until retirement — whichever comes first. A video of veterans praised Walz’s work on the VA committee.
Amy Klobuchar seemed to mock us when she told us that Coach Walz “turned a team around” from a no-win record to a state championship when he was merely an assistant coach. She added for good measure, “who better to serve our country than a guy who has served in uniform?”
The Democrats wisely followed this up with a student and neighbor of Walz describing how he helped him out of a snow bank. He called out the now-adult members of that state championship-winning team and reminded that Walz made school lunches free for every student in his school. Walz was officially introduced with a video narrated by his wife, Gwen, recounting his small-town roots and history as a teacher. Unfortunately, there were no cheers in the audience when Gwen noted that Walz is a hunter and gun owner. Worse still, Gwen falsely said that Walz earned the rank of Command Sergeant Major, even though he never completed the training required for that rank.
Walz declined to address his bevy of embellishments when he finally stepped on stage, sticking to the typical bumbling white-guy routine. He talked about how proud he was to serve in the National Guard but sidestepped his previous falsehoods. He retold his story about his wife’s fertility treatments, which he previously falsely suggested were IVF.
“Thank you for bringing the joy to this fight,” he told the audience before taking a cheap shot at J.D. Vance, asserting that no one from his graduating high school class went to Yale, as if it ought to be shameful for a poor small-town kid to rise above their circumstances. “We respect our neighbors and the choices they make,” Walz said, neglecting to mention his Covid snitch line.
The falsehoods continued as Walz claimed Trump was going to “gut social security” and “ban abortion” across the country. “It’s weird,” he said of Project 2025, harking back to the viral cable news line that probably secured his pick as Harris’s running mate.
As nice as the platitudes in Walz’s speech might have sounded to the average observer, much like the rest of the DNC, it was cotton candy: sugary sweet but devoid of real substance. And with the inane policy positions behind it all (Walz’s most unpopular policies from his time as governor were, of course, left out of his speech) it’s sure to leave the country with a bellyache.
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