On Monday, Victorian Premier Jacinta Allan was wooing Victorians as a warrior declaring she is ‘a fighter’, who would see off any challenge, anywhere, any day. Bring it on.

She fired off her paperwork to Labor HQ publicly declaring she would fight for her job – her state, for Victorians. She would size up and stare down any leadership contender.

A day later, she was telling her children live on television how much she was looking forward to being with them. ‘Kids,’ she said, ‘mum will be home more to tell you to get off your computers and clean your room.’

So here we are – the great JA: a warrior one day, victim the next – a mother weeping for more time with her children. All very believable, lovely even. Except that wasn’t what she was saying on Monday. It was only on Tuesday that she couldn’t wait to be a domestic goddess.

All this from a woman suffering a clear case of delusion as if – like an egg – she had separated the yolk of state troubles from the albumen of her leadership. No Jacinta, you scrambled the lot. And we watched you do it.

Her ‘thank you’ speech on Tuesday morning was saccharine on steroids, full of fantasy and figment, starting with her insistence that she wanted to contest the leadership ballot because she believed she ‘would have won’. There’s a red flag… If she can’t judge an internal problem, what chance she can accurately assess reality on the struggle streets of the southern state?

She went on with other statements of delusion – claims as bizarre as they were wrong.

So, no Jacinta, you didn’t inherit ‘a budget deficit’. Your government caused it.

You didn’t inherit a housing problem. Your government created it.

You didn’t create ‘strong public hospitals’ or ‘strong public schools’. Your government decimated them.

Your government didn’t come ‘to office in a cost-of-living-crisis’. Your government created that too.

As for ‘your mission’ to ‘make life easier and more affordable’? Puh-lease!

The Labor government, under your watch, hasn’t made life easier for the regional cities to which you promised the Commonwealth Games. You were the Minister for the Commonwealth Games. Gold medal performance for your double backflip landing with the splits – that is, splitting the bill with Glasgow.

You signed off on the Big Build and all its Big Bills. You claimed in your speech that the Liberals are ‘trying to rewrite history again’ yet you were the Premier who cheered on Treaty which was born of the Yoorrook Truth Telling Commission whose task it was, in my opinion, to re-write the official history of Victoria.

Seriously.

Every socialist policy put forward by your predecessor has been nodded at like a bobble-head. It is my view that Labor ministers, including yourself, should have resigned following the treatment of the state during Covid. There were several shameful incidents, including the Hotel Quarantine debacle. Resignations? They never came.

In NSW, a bottle of wine can bring down a Premier. Spot the difference.

Jacinta Allan was there as the Minister for the Big Build.

Jacinta Allan has been there for all the media releases claiming that ‘Equality is not negotiable under a Labor government’.

That is, unless you live in the regions or are a biological female in a women’s prison where male prisoners are housed.

She was there for the formation of the Department of Fairness in 2021. Yes, laugh. Think of it as the Monty Python equivalent of the Ministry for Funny Walks, and just as useful. Fairness for whom Jacinta – those who can’t pay their power bills now? Or perhaps those Victorians whose lives have been changed by the drug-riddled crime explosion?

Ms Allan’s teary exit makes way for the newly crowned ALP leader Ben Carroll. This was the man who said of Jess Wilson’s leadership of the Liberal Party: ‘Changing the jockey… same old horse’.

Well, giddy up Ben.

Already the knives are out. Just hours after Jacinta Allan told the media scrum that ‘should Ben Carroll emerge as our next Labor Leader and Labor Premier, he will have my congratulations and my unqualified support’.

Newspaper reports from that vote suggest Ms Allan couldn’t even bring herself to back Mr Carroll in the first test of her ‘unqualified support’. Apparently 14 others also didn’t support him.

That didn’t stop the ALP Whip, Ballarat-based Juliana Addison, from announcing it was a ‘unanimous vote’.

Labor just keeps proving it’s not very good with numbers.  Go figure.

But to end with Ms Allan, whose final media statement was titled ‘Thank you, Victoria.’

No Ms Allan, thank you for stepping down. If only your tears were for recognising what a mess you have made of a once proud, capable and safe state.

As former broadcaster Derryn Hinch might have said, ‘Shame Jacinta, shame.’

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