Males warned ‘be cautious of women’

by JOHN MIKKELSEN – ONE of the things that seems to have been irrevocably killed-off in today’s woke feminist world, is the art of seduction. 

Forget the theme songs of many Hollywood movies that entertained teenagers and their parents in the 50s and 60s such as Bing Crosby crooning to a wavering Doris Day, “Baby it’s Cold Outside”. Or Doris returning mixed but encouraging messages in her “Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps…” 

These days No means No, right? Well maybe not, if you’re a Labor State government seemingly keen to ignore the overwhelming “No bloody way” expressed by 61 per cent of Australians to a divisive Voice referendum.
John Mikkelsen
Freelance Writer & Author

The implicit message back then was, maybe. Convince me…

Things got a bit more heated by the 80s when AC/DC belted out “You Shook Me All Night Long” and Joe Cocker followed that up with the equally explicit “You Can Leave Your Hat On”.


These days No means No, right? Well maybe not, if you’re a Labor State government seemingly keen to ignore the overwhelming “No bloody way” expressed by 61 per cent of Australians to a divisive Voice referendum.

No, they’ll do it their way, anyway.

But back to flirting. Today’s young males could be thoroughly confused by the latest definition of rape which doesn’t have to involve the word No, or even physical messages implying a Yes, especially when there is alcohol involved!

Be very careful or you could end up facing a court in which the basic thrust is “he said/she said”.

The judge then has to wade through a legal minefield – or to use the latest trending term, an “omnishambles” – to form a personal opinion of who told the biggest fib.

Let’s use a colloquial definition everyone outside the Bar can understand – a “shitstorm”.

Just because there was arguably no clearly expressed consent, or none that the judge would believe.

So, having not come down in the latest April shower and having been around the block more than a few times, I thought I’d offer some hopefully helpful advice for blokes on a boozy night out:

  • If you’re lucky enough to meet a girl/woman who doesn’t reject your initial pick-up line, let her buy her own drinks!
  • If she agrees to go back to your place for a shot of whisky or to listen to your vinyl collection (beats Spotify) don’t kiss her in public. Big Brother is watching.
  • If you go back to your office rather than home because your girlfriend is there waiting, ask the security guard or the Uber driver to note her relative sobriety.
  • If it’s in the early hours of the morning, don’t try to convince anyone that you only went there to complete some work project that’s not due for several weeks.
  • Finally, if you get clear signals that she’s open for intimacy, whip out your mobile phone and record her clearly stating, “yes, go ahead, I’m yours!”, or words to that effect.
  • If your phone is out of charge, whip out the statutory declaration form you should keep in your wallet for just such an occasion and have her to sign it with a big tick for Yes. Maybe a security guard could witness it. (If it’s No, go take a cold shower.)
  • If she passes out naked on the couch, don’t leave her there for a security guard to discover, hours later.
  • Finally, if her recollection is hazy and, for whatever reason, you are accused of rape (and you have taken the above steps), you should be able to prove your innocence beyond “the realms of probability”.
  • Don’t sell your story to the media, they’re dodgy as hell, and if the trial is aborted or you’re cleared, don’t “go back in the lions’ den to retrieve your hat”. Or your wallet.

All of which makes me very glad I grew up back in the days when seduction was alive and well, LGBTQ+ were just random letters, there were only two genders, and sex scandals with a web of lies on both sides never determined or influenced a federal election.

All gone forever.PC

John Mikkelsen

John Mikkelsen is a former editor of three Queensland regional newspapers, columnist, freelance writer and author of the Amazon Books memoir, Don’t Call Me Nev

Perhaps, Perhaps, Definitely see you in court…

MAIN PHOTOGRAPH: Bruce Lehrmann.  (courtesy The Canberra Times)

15 thoughts on “Males warned ‘be cautious of women’

  1. I have discussed the judge’s claim that Higgins was ‘probably raped’ Not one of them agreed with him. They also pointed out that Higgins was equally probably not raped.
    One Barrister stated that the judgement had more holes that a sieve.

      1. And now a top silk has approached Lehrmann saying there are strong grounds for an appeal as the judge erred in his findings. Watch this space… Backs up what you’ve posted John DL

  2. My advice to all young guys is, prior to any form of sexual encounter with a woman (or man for that matter), ensure that they have a signed permission form from the person concerned and also have a priest and lawyer witness the event.
    Then, if the matter goes to court, the Judge may believe the priest’s testimony but, if not, at least the lawyer will be able to testify as a material witness!

  3. My simple mind has imbalance emblazoned. A judge gave probability of rape. Probability of consent could also have been given. Probability that nothing happened except a woman removed her dress and fell asleep, is also a scenario.
    Imbalance that one lost his job and not the other. Imbalance that a new trial didn’t take place due to the supposed mental state of one character but no thoughts re mental state of the other. Imbalance that one was rewarded with a huge monetary payout for reasons now judged to be untrue. Imbalance, that several innocent people lost careers and gained mental health problems. Why? Excess alcohol imbalances anyone who over-consumes, especially 11 vodkas!

  4. Does anyone – apart from the good Justice – seriously believe Higgins was raped that day?

    1. Well it boils down to what is now classed as rape and the judge’s own opinion (which is pretty much what John’s article is saying.)

  5. Given time this judgement will probably become notorious. Two young persons went back to Parliament House to have sex, so as to save money on a motel room. Apparently Brittany taking off all her clothes and lying down naked on the couch whilst awaiting Bruce did not constitute consent, and later on Shiraz espied his chance to become a beneficiary of her subsequent pay day.

    However in time we may become grateful to Brittany and Bruce for ridding us of 2 bad governments. Morrison tried to go woke to please everyone, then we’ve witnessed the Albo horror show. NZ has begun to recover since the grown ups are back in charge and hopefully we’ll do ditto under Dutton.

    Unlike the Pell, Porter and Tudge episodes, when Labor’s fake allegations caused havoc, this time they’ve been well and truly sprung. Several of their ministers could face criminal charges post the payout enquiry so let’s sit back and eat our popcorn.

  6. Very topical article, John, considering the time we have all had to ponder scenes of what may or may not occur in government suites.
    (I seem to remember reading mention somewhere of someone wanting a political scandal way back).
    However, I would HATE to be a male these days.
    They surely would not know how to handle situations with some females.
    A male can’t even whistle at a female across the street as used to happen – even if it did make us blush – but this modern day feminism and political correctness has ruined many things romantic and innocent I think.
    I am so glad I grew up in the days of things done and taken in good humour and accepted as a compliment.

  7. Hey John thanks for the laugh and the live music links (very apt). Hope I’m not too late to the party but might I add a couple of other appropriate tunes – Carole King’s ‘Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow’ and Cliff Richard’s ‘Devil Woman’. Remember the old saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

    1. Or maybe convince the Commonwealth (labor Government) to hand you a $2.45 reward – er- compensation – and buy your own villa in France. How hard can that be?

  8. Right on John. If I were a young rake out for a good time and struck it lucky, I think I’d take your “helpful (cheeky) advice” to avoid the pitfalls of a potential she said/ he said and the resultant legal shitstorm – er – “omnishambles”.


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