As much as I would like to smoke one of my tobacco pipes from my collection, the last time I did so I was crook for days. Not to mention that the only place I could buy good tobacco was from the US. That little loophole has been shut down and now it costs an absolute fortune to smoke any legal substance. Little wonder people are smoking the illegal stuff – even though most of that illegal stuff is tobacco.
It’s not just your smokes. It’s also your beer. I watched Barnaby Joyce in the House of Representatives soon after he joined One Nation. He was talking about how the excise on beer was killing the pubs, the social hubs of regional Australia. With a schooner of Resch’s now over $8 at my local (despite the publican absorbing several excise indexations), I feel like I ought to be getting a Guinness rather than a classic Aussie working-class draught beer.
And as if that’s not enough, your mortgage repayments have gone up ever since the Albanese government came to power.
Am I the only one, or does it bother you that the RBA’s interest rate hikes have only been a few percentage points, yet that translates into more than a thousand dollars a month on a modest mortgage?
I don’t know about you, but if there was a chop-chop version of a mortgage broker, I’d be cracking out my Falcon or maybe even one of my Sherlock Holmes-style Peterson’s briar pipes to celebrate. With a good chop-chop version of Dutch Gold. Hypothetically, of course.
The simple fact is that the Labor Party are overseeing the most miserable living standards in Australian history. To be sure, the Uniparty played their part, and they deserve most of the blame. But the Albanese government is next level.
The bottom line is that as the Albanese government continues to spend, the Reserve Bank has only interest rates as the blunt instrument to curb inflation. Never-ending government spending is driving inflation higher, which means the RBA has only one tool left – pushing interest rates up.
What’s really annoying is that the extra money you pay on your mortgage goes straight to the banks. You get nothing in return. In fact, you get less. You are forced to hand more of your income to the banks to keep inflation down, so that one day you might pay a little less for the things that already cost too much.
It’s enough to drive you to drink and smoke. Ah!
But you can’t drive, either. That’s because the fuel excise is way higher than the tobacco and alcohol excises.
If only you had saved enough money so you could pay off your mortgage sooner rather than later. That way you wouldn’t be in your late 50s with a mortgage that your kids will probably have to pay off with your estate money. Assuming the dodgy Labor death-taxes-by-stealth don’t pop up at a future election and get it first.
Imagine if you could use your super right now to pay off your mortgage?
If you’re Gen X like me, you are the toughest generation. But you’re also considered old, pale, and stale, and your job is likely to go to some snivelling kid who can’t tell whether they are Arthur or Martha. (Assuming AI hasn’t taken over your role.)
You’re also in that age bracket where you can’t access your super until you are 60.
Australia has a habit of creating senior-age crunch times. Previously, it was working men (in particular) who were broken by age 63 but couldn’t get the pension until age 65. They had to gut it out for a few years.
Nowadays, Gen X are frequently being made redundant in their late 50s and are unable to access their superannuation until they are 60. It’s criminal.
When One Nation starts talking about giving us access to our super, Gen X are all ears.
With mortgage repayments the single biggest expense for many Gen Xers, accessing superannuation before the arbitrary age of 60 would be a no-brainer. But no. You have to die in a ditch because your super isn’t yours – it’s a ‘national asset’.
So, you can’t smoke, you can’t drink, and you have to give more of your money to the banks for absolutely nothing.
If only I could win the lotto. Oh wait, aren’t they trying to shut down gambling, too?
Seriously, what’s the point of living in this country?
Dear Labor, just shut up and give us our super. Now.
Dr Michael de Percy @FlaneurPolitiq is the Spectator Australia’s Canberra Press Gallery Correspondent. If you would like to support his writing, or read more of Michael, please visit his website.
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