Or the money grabbing culture of the franchise era, or Pat Cummins’ climate activism, or Cricket Australia’s nauseating corporatism and narrative protection.

Even the sheer silliness and hedonistic meaninglessness of the white ball takeover of the once great game, or the sheer wokeness of the culture, I couldn’t say for sure.

YAWN

Modern corporate cricket is the exemplar of the times in which we find ourselves. There is not much to celebrate.

So, the latest kerfuffle over ball tampering might be seen as a bit of yawn. I certainly see it this way. For a number of reasons.

But, first, what is the fuss about?

Back in 2018, the Australian cricket team was playing South Africa. In a test match, the Australian cricketers were caught by the umpires rubbing sandpaper on the ball, to gain an advantage. This was illegal.

And now, one of the cricketers there at the time, Usman Khawaja, a Pakistani Muslim Australian cricketer, has written an autobiography in which he details his version of what happened back in 2018.

The money shot? The whole team were cheats, not just the leaders who were caught and punished.

A whole lot has been written on the nature of the advantage given to a side that can doctor the cricket ball.

These days, it is all about “reverse swing”, a method of bowling discovered and perfected by Pakistani cricketers in the 1980s, in which bowlers can gain an advantage over batsmen by making one side of the cricket ball shiny and the other side rough.

This can be achieved by both legal and illegal means.

Unlocking the secrets of reverse swing can make all the difference to outcomes in cricket. It matters. That is why teams invest effort in trying to master it.

But, why is this latest Aussie cricket crisis a yawn?

• Ball tampering has been going on since cricket first emerged, back in the 19th Century;
• Many top-notch test cricketers have been convicted by the cricket authorities of ball tampering this century, from multiple countries;
• Cheating more generally has also been going on forever, as the father of English cricket, Dr WG Grace, a serial offender, proved;
• So has gamesmanship and stretching the rules, often in brutal ways, as Bodyline (1932-33) showed;
• It doesn’t really matter who in the 2018 Australian team knew what, when;
• We already know that Australia’s team of 2018 was utterly compromised already, in terms of its on-field behaviour and lack of moral compass over the best part of a decade;
• So, no surprises if they all knew;
• Serial corporate lying to the public is what corporates now do, always, and if we don’t all know this already, more fool us;
• Those who took the blame in 2018 knew the score. The then captain, Steve Smith, is now worth $35m. The then Vice Captain, David Warner, is also a multi-millionaire with a lucrative, post-cricket career in the media;
• The new story will feed into the insatiable media for weeks on end. Everyone’s a winner from this.

Yes, it is all sickening. No argument there. That lying cheats who become multi-millionaires on the back of their sporting prowess and go on to lecture us all on public policy and how we should live our lives.