IF YOU’VE ever had phone problems, you might have experienced Telecom Syndrome.
You started off liking those overseas operators who promised they could easily solve your issues, but gradually you grew to hate them as the issue remained unfixed for days then weeks, while you hung on the line, got transferred, listened to Muzak, repeatedly gave your personal details “for security purposes”, waited for call backs and stayed home for technicians.
But then one day the phone worked again and you were so unbelievably grateful that you forgot everything you had been through – as though it never happened. That’s Telecom Syndrome.
WASH
Which brings me to Coronavirus Syndrome under which government, on the advice of some doctors that nobody had ever heard of, told you to shut down your business, put your staff, your suppliers & your customers on hold, stay home, wash your hands and social distance.
And like Telecom they promised things would get back to normal (although it’s not over yet, and there could be a second wave, and most of winter is still ahead, and we still haven’t a vaccine, and there is no time for complacency).
You wanted to do the right thing so you hibernated and waited for weeks as your income dwindled, your savings were spent, your super dropped, your investments plummeted and your business stayed shut.
You started off trusting and even admiring government leaders for being so strong, but you began to have questions about the rationale behind the decisions the medical experts and government made:
- Why, if we’re all in this together, did the bureaucrats not take a pay cut?
- If all we needed to be safe was to social distance, why didn’t we just have social distancing?
- Why are all rooms judged to be the same size when estimating how many people are allowed in?
- Why could protestors march in their thousands and I couldn’t go to Esme’s funeral?
- What did teachers do when working from home?
- Who decided the exact numbers of people in a café or pub? Did everyone around the table get a turn to pick a number?
But then you accepted that you couldn’t get any answers because most of these questions could not be sensibly answered. You were stepping into Coronavirus Syndrome. You even thought your government leaders were wonderful, despite them having almost ruined your life and kept you in the dark about the rationale behind all restriction decisions.
Then suddenly, and without any specific reason, the restrictions eased and you re-opened your business, albeit with limited numbers. The first week’s figures weren’t bad – not as good as last year – but not bad, considering that illogical restrictions were still in place.
But suddenly it feels like Christmas!
So why are you so happy, and even grateful?
Why is a walk in the sun enough to make your day?
Why the hell are you watching rugby league when you never did?
Because you are fully into Coronavirus Syndrome.
WHINGED
But just like sufferers of Telecom Syndrome you’re forgetting what you gave up, what you went through, how it affected you, what it cost and what it will cost.
Under Telecom Syndrome you became furious when you wasted hours on the phone talking to seemingly very helpful people who actually weren’t and sometimes you lost days unable to leave home while waiting for technicians and getting only assurances. You whinged to anyone who would listen about your lost valuable time which could have been better used to improve your life.
Businesses under Coronavirus Syndrome have had no income or profit while the doors were shut for all those weeks: no summer sales, no autumn sales, no Anzac Day income in the pubs, no southern tourists flying, flooding into motels and tourist attractions, no overseas tourists. Super income down, net wealth less. Not only did you give up significant parts of your life, but you have less wealth than you had six months ago. And you will not get it back, ever.
And remember, it’s not over yet, and there could be a second wave, and most of winter is still ahead, and we still haven’t a vaccine, and there is no time for complacency.
If you can’t understand why you feel happy and grateful; if you know something doesn’t add up but you no longer care; if you still don’t know who the Chief Medical Officer for WA is; if you’re thankful because the government subsidy covers at least part of your booze bill…
If you feel any of these, it’s okay, you have the Syndrome.
CURE
There is a cure: Add up how much you have lost financially, how much you have borrowed or will have to borrow, the state of your credit cards, the size of your remaining super, the damage to your children’s education, then add how much Australia has lost and how much Australia will have to borrow. Now think about what will happen when the subsidies go.
Only then are you ready to leave Coronavirus Syndrome – (and it’s not over yet, and there could be a second wave, and most of winter is still ahead, and we still haven’t a vaccine, and there is no time for complacency…).PC
I must say you’re a wag Neil and – that picture below your name makes Dan look decidedly Chinese!
But unfortunately, I’ve some bad news for you. When you’ve experienced the full force of the tsunami of horrid effects the lockdown of the Country has had on your finances, your business, your job, your family and on the Australian economy, i.e. feel ready to leave the Syndrome behind, the reality will leave you reeling.
The State Premiers have, in two months, become totalitarian dictators. You will soon realise they have deigned to lift a few token restrictions, but still maintain their tight lasso around us all; we are but their puppets.
The U.S., Britain and many E.U. Countries are being granted freedoms much greater than ours, even though they still actively suffer from a real Covid pandemic by the hundreds of thousands and we have had only a Covid health crisis which is now mostly extinguished. The damage mounts.
Some Premiers are worse than others.
Pollyanna is such a destructive force for the Queensland Tourist businesses. She has taken leave of any semblance of sanity and seems to be enjoying her rigid role in destroying her economy as well as the Federal one. You almost expect to see her flying overhead on her broomstick and cackling dementedly. It’ll be almost impossible for her constituents to forgive, so they’re sure to forget she ever existed come voting time.
Second is China Dan, who rules the Peoples’ Republic of Victoria with an iron rod and is equally demented. He has certainly taken leave of the little sense he ever had and is coyly cuddling up to the reds of China. This will surely prove to be lethal for his poor State and will have nasty ramifications for our whole Country.
Not content to simply own his China obsession, (which he refuses to discuss), Dan is exerting the most severe lockdown of all, feeding his other dementia by assuring his constituents that his strong ‘protection’ will last until the end of September. How Victorians control their feelings about their ghastly lot is beyond me!
In NSW, Gladys is still proving quite timid but we may be seeing a slight element of bravery gradually creeping in. The other States fall in steps behind her. And so we continue with our varying degrees of partial parole – at their whims, on and on. A revolution may be needed!
Now Neil, I feel I must apologise for this nasty dose of reality!