SOMBREROS are the new way to standardise apartedness, assist the visually impaired with social distancing and revive the devastated millinery industry.

Lining up outside our local pie shop the other day, I couldn’t help noticing the alarming variations in people’s assessments of what constitutes 1.5m.

How about a law to make everyone wear when outdoors, a Mexican sombrero with a 75cm rim?

The benefits would be incalculable: to the visually impaired, to those who simply are not good with distances, a great defence against skin cancer and an imperative to force the re-opening of beaches to the public, because close clustering would be impossible.

Most importantly of all, a shot in the arm for the millinery industry which has been all but wiped out by the ban on audiences (particularly fashionable ladies) at race meetings.PC

JurisDiction